I unexpectedly found myself with a free day. After a quick kayak in a local river I made myself a lunch of cheese, grapes, bread, salami and beer and went for a drive. I had no particular place in mind, I just did not want to be at home and I wanted to be alone with my thoughts.
As I drove I found myself near the town where my grandparents lived. I loved my grandparents dearly and still miss them. As I drove down the road where they lived I thought about the terrorized little boy I once was who sought refuge in his grandmother's cooking and his grandfather's company. I thought about waking up to the smell of cooked bacon and the rustle of the newspaper as my Grandfather read his morning Boston Herald American. I thought about the day trips to the beach and to Plymouth and the Cape. I thought about sitting next Grandpa in the sewing room eating vanilla ice cream while watching the Red Sox. I thought about laying in bed at night while listening to my Grandpa in the next room fight German soldiers in his sleep. But most of all I thought about feeling safe, and comforted, and loved by my grandparents and how very much I miss them.
As I sat and looked at their house I thought about the boy I was and the man I now am. I have no idea how or why things turned out the way they have. Not that I want a chance to do things over again...but looking at that yard...and the spot where my grandfather used to sit...I would give much to be a little boy again, playing in their yard...if only for an afternoon.
Sitting here in my home...in my grandfather's old chair...I realize why I found myself in front of my grandparent's old home. I wanted to be where I experienced unconditional love and acceptance, where I was taken care of, and where I was free to be myself. I would give much to be a grandson again if only for an afternoon.
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5 years ago
Beautifully written... I miss my grandfather terribly and this made me think of him... but in a good way! Thanks Tom!
ReplyDeleteOh me too me too! I remember sliding down the stairs at my g-parents on a sleeping mat. LOOKING BACK I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY LET ME DO THAT STUFF! I would also jump on a mini-trampoline in the living room there. It was always such a fun getaway! I miss those times too. Where has it all gone? I would give a lot to be able to go back in time for a few days, then return to reality.
ReplyDeleteThats why I let my kids spend as much time with the Grandparents... I hope they are developing wonderful memories like you have.
ReplyDelete