Back to Normal

I had my entire family with me at the dinner table for the first time in over a week. Between sleepovers, time at my brother's, and their staying with their mom, my kids and I have not shared much home life over the last ten days. I am happy they are with me and have finally been able to figure out what has been bugging me over the last few days. I missed my kids.

Don't get me wrong. I have no problem finding things to do when my kids aren't here. Last week I got to spend two days with my girlfriend's kids, whom I adore, as well as spend some quiet time with her. I also was able to catch up on work, visit my grandparent's homestead, almost drown myself in a kayak, and visit historic Plymouth, Massachusetts. I also finished reading two books, read the Sunday paper from cover to cover, and spent time at the gym, swimming, walking, and I even took my bike out for a spin. And this morning I had time to visit three nurseries in search of a plant for my girlfriend's deck (don't tell her...its a surprise).

However, despite my being able to find productive ways to spend my time I did not feel quite right. Until now, I could not figure out the cause of the free floating anxiety from which I was suffering. I missed having my kids around. While I saw them almost every day, I went to their ball games, and I played with them, but as I am finding out, it was not the same has having my kids with me, being able to cook for them, and talk to them, and enjoy having them around.

I spent this afternoon preparing a roast chicken dinner for them as well as baking two kinds of cookies for their lunches for the rest of the week. Muffins are on the menu for tomorrow morning. Fresh linens are on their beds and as soon as I am done with this I am going to jump in the pool with them. I have realized that I have settled into my role of Mr. Mom and that I like it. I enjoy my weekends, I like that remaining part of my bachelor life that allows me to enjoy that thing I do. I have more than enough love and encouragement to offer the three other important people in the world to me, however, I know more now than ever that having a home for my children, here with me is what I am supposed to be doing with my life.

I have made a home for my children, they are happy to be with me...and I am happy that my kids are with me.