Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Since When Did I Become A Short Order Cook?

Its 9:45 on a Wednesday morning and only now am I contemplating cleaning up the debris from my kids' breakfast. As I survey the damage, the omelet pan, the bacon grease, the half eaten bowl of oatmeal I wonder how I allowed my kitchen to be turned into a diner and what happened to my plans for a simple bagel and fruit breakfast. I realized what has happened, I allowed my kids to turn me into a short order cook.

As these things often do, it all started out innocently enough as one morning I made fresh muffins for my kids and then omelets the next morning. Two Sundays ago I put out a brunch for my kids. I made the mistake of upping the ante. Now...if I put out a bowl of cornflakes for breakfast I run the risk of having to deal with three surly kids without a whip and a chair.

Now...I have a friend who lets their kids get their own meals...and I thought about what that would look like here....Oliver would have steak with a side order of bacon...for every meal...Fiona, skittles floating in Pepsi cola...Aidan, who would dispense with all pretense, would sit down with a five pound bag of sugar and have at it. So faced with the prospect of having a preteen needing bypass surgery and twins in a sugar induced coma, I have decided to keep a firm reign on meal time around here.

Which brings me back to my original thought, how did I become a short order cook? I guess its my fault as I love food. I don't mind making muffins at 6:00 in the morning or staying up late baking cookies...but preparing three individual breakfasts each morning is a bit much. What I ought to do is apply my Napoleonic parenting style to meal time. The Napoleonic approach to parenting is where you give kids the appearance of democracy by offering them choices that appeal to the no matter the outcome you get a result you can live with. I know what you are thinking...that I am being manipulative...well too bad...its three against one and I need every advantage to keep the mob at bay.

So tomorrow morning a new breakfast policy will be in place...I will ask them what they want...cornflakes or rice krispies...but first I had better get my whip and chair.


  1. In my house its a choice of hot or cold - All Bran or cooked Jungle Oats. Or if I'm running late there's no choice!

  2. The whip is an interesting breakfast feature, Tom

  3. My son makes his own breakfast, he is 9. School days is cereal, waffles (frozen), toast, or pop tarts. Eazy peezie. I feel so bad for him now! LMFAO