Happy St. George's Day

Fiona woke me up at 5:30 this morning. She sat down on my bed, poked my side, and said in the sort of whisper that woke the entire household "Happy St. Patrick's Day!" The following sentence from her contained words that only she could utter; " Its St. Patrick's Day...do we get candy or presents?" I muttered something about Bushmills and Guinness being the traditional St. Patrick's Day gifts but I don't think that was what she had in mind.

On the way to school the kids were fixated on the topic of their ethnic heritage. They are fully aware that their mom is Irish (what is it with me and Irish girls?) and that I am not. I told them that my family has been in America for a very long time and that most of my ancestors came from the planet Krypton. They weren't buying my story so I made something up and told them that my family came from England a very long time ago and they did so only after the Pilgrims made sure that the coast was clear.

Now my kids are fully aware that green beer is not Ireland's only contribution to world culture. They also know the story of St. Patrick and how, among other things, he drove the snakes out of Ireland (resisting urge to make joke about ex wife's family). They wanted to know what England has given us. Now, I could have told them about the influence of the English language, or Shakespeare, or even bad teeth, instead I told them about St. George. I explained that St. George was England's patron saint and that his day is April 17. I told them that St. George killed a dragon, which got me thinking, getting rid of a few snakes is pretty cool, but killing a dragon is a far more impressive. Hell, even I have killed a few snakes, but I think with a dragon I would need some assistance from a professional.

My kids then demanded that I tell them what day I thought was better....so I did what I always do...I based my opinion on my stomach. I told them that St. Patrick's Day was known for corned beef and cabbage, which smells like feet and that the English probably eat fish and chips on St. George's day, which smells like....well...like fish. So I then told them that in my opinion St. Joseph's day was the best day, because as the patron Saint of Italy, we get to celebrate his feast in two days with lasagna...which smells like heaven.