Thursday, March 12, 2009

Rent A Boob...My Take

Ok...when I read my friend Blondie's Rent A Boob posting last night I admit that I asked myself "ok...where can I do this and would they let me rent two?" Yes...its been a slow month. I asked her about the reaction she got from her latest missive and she told me "oh was a shitstorm...I must have had 4000 hits." Now...what can I do to provoke that kind of controversy?

More or less her posting was about a mom giving her child over to a stranger to nurse as a favor because the stranger was lactating. Now nursing is something I intentionally try not to devote too much thought to. I have read Freud and Odeipus so I know if I give too much thought to breast feeding my fantasy life would have to undergo some serious re-vamping. I think I was traumatized in my early 20s when at college orientation I stumbled upon a La Leche League conference. Much to my horror I entered a room with about 75 moms nursing their babies at the same freaking time. kids' mom nursed and it was my job to clean the bottles so I did participate in the nursing experience...but after the twins were born I think we both figured that we made our contribution to the continuation of the species so further carnal relations with each other was kind of pointless. So no harm there.

But seriously, giving your kid over to a stranger to nurse?!!? Isn't that sort of the equivalent of finding a half eaten hamburger on the sidewalk and giving it to your kid..."here you go...I have no idea where this came from but if it was on the sidewalk then its good enough for you." Now...the second thought I had when I read the blog was....ok...many of the women I know are medicated (does this say more about me than about them?) I wondered about what was passed on to the baby. I am thinking "ok, don't worry about your baby being depressed or having anxiety or needing a glass of wine...the meds and the booze come free with the breastmilk." Years from now I can see this kids mom telling him..."oh don't take candy from a stranger but see that lactating woman over there....go ask her for a snack."

Just when I thought my life was a series of insane experiences, Blondie has to go out and trump me.


  1. You're going to get me in more trouble. lol

    You're da best.

  2. omg the hamburger anal is hilarious! anal=analogy! don't get all gutterbrained! i too thought that it was strange. I'd never let my babies eat off of someone else's tatas. NOpe. NO effin thanks!