Back to Work

Tomorrow, for the first time in seven years, I have to punch a clock...as it were...as I am going to work for someone else. That I have to do so is indicative of the state of the mortgage industry as I have much to much time on my hands for my own good. However, the idea of working for someone else feels like...feels like submission and defeat.

We sacrifice much to be well fed and well clothed. We sacrifice our freedom, our individuality, and our time. We end up giving our lives, as measured in time, to our employers. In exchange we get an income, some benefits, and the illusion of security.

To be sure, there are sacrifices involved in working for oneself, but these were sacrifices I gladly made. When I first started working for myself, on a commission basis, I remember telling the owner of the company I sub-contracted for my fear of living on a commission income. I remember his response..."we all work on commission whether we know it or not." That one statement enabled me to rid myself of the delusion that a steady paycheck was a symbol of stability...as someone who was laid off because of a corporate takeover I knew full well that as long as I worked for someone else I would never be the master of my own fate.

I was my own master...I could fashion my worklife in a manner that suited my needs and desires. If I wanted to spend the afternoon with my kids...I could. If I wanted to spend the morning at the beach...I could. In exchange I worked with my clients five nights a week. I made phone calls from baseball fields, dance studios, family gatherings, the beach, at midnight, and on Christmas day. I lived with my profession and in return I earned a nice income. However, more than the income I earned I enjoyed the freedom my profession brought me. How I worked, when I worked, and where I worked was entirely up to me....I was my own master. I was free.

But even the freedom I enjoyed was something of an illusion....as to do my job successfully I needed to match wits with the global economy...and I think the global economy is getting the better of me....S0....tomorrow...I will be in a cubicle...subject to somebody else's rules and somebody else's schedule. I know this is how most people live and they do so happily and willingly...but to me...it feels like I am submitting and surrendering my freedom.