Living On Aspinwall Road

Every now and then I run across an article in the Boston Globe or the Providence Journal about people who live near an airport who are unhappy about the noise created by the jets flying overhead. Almost inevitably I find myself thinking "Who was there first, you are the airport?" While I can understand that the sound of jets landing and taking off could get a little old, I have to admit to having little sympathy for these folks as they knew what they were getting into when they moved near the damn airport....

On the other hand...I have a great deal of sympathy for those folks who moved into a well established neighborhood and over the years their neighborhood changes on them. The infamous Route 18 is a major north/south route running through Plymouth and Bristol Counties in Massachusetts. Every day I drive on a heavily traveled portion of this secondary road that has undergone a transformation over the past twenty years, moving from a primarily residential area to one dominated by commercial influences.

From time to time, as I sit in traffic in front of the few remaining homes on my section of Route 18, I find myself wondering about the people living inside. Were they happy living alongside a steady stream of traffic. Could they smell the exhaust from passing cars in their living rooms? Did they want to move?

I did not move next to an airport, but my neighborhood changed sometime ago. I do not know when Aspinwall Road became a one way street but it certainly is one now. Traffic goes down it but it never comes back the other way. Maybe it does not matter when it became a one way street. Whats important is that for some time I have not liked the flow of traffic. Its time to move.

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Men...rejoice! Football season is upon us.

Actually...I never really got our fascination with football. I mean...I watch it. I follow the New England Patriots, and my alma mater, Boston College but unlike many men, the Earth does not stop for me when they play. In fact, as I told someone over the weekend, I think I watched only two Patriot games in their entirety last year. An opportunity to do this or that always seemed to open up and I rose to the occasion and took advantage....such were my Sundays last fall.

However, it was on the Saturdays of last Fall when I gained a new appreciation for the game. My boys played organized football last year and again this year they are already attending preseason practices. Aside from the daily two and a half hour practices, it was a positive experience for the boys and me.

I learned that youth football has a different rhythm and tenor than Little League. Whereas in the Little League the players are treated like big boys, in football they are treated like young men. And more often than not, the boys responded well to being treated as such.

While I believe that baseball is our finest game and is a superior sport, football teaches things to young boys and men that baseball cannot. Football stresses the importance of preparation and it teaches the importance of responsibility. Football, by its very nature, teaches the virtues of teamwork and instills in the boys a sense of camaraderie.

Parents today find themselves in the untenable position of having to fend off elements of our culture that erode and undermine the values we try to instill in our kids. Exhibitionism, self indulgent excess, and unrestrained selfishness are celebrated whilst quiet preparation, sacrifice, and teamwork or either ignored or dismissed as values from a bygone age. Its a relief to me that we still have activities like sports, dance, and Scouts where our efforts are reinforced and enhanced.

So....football season is upon us...and while the Patriots and Boston College will get some of my attention, the Earth will stop when my boys play. My oldest has his first scrimmage tonight. I can't wait.

Getting Ready For School

With August more than two thirds over my ex wife and I have started to prepare for the beginning of school. We have divided up the list of items we need to purchase by September 1st, these include paper, notebooks, lunchboxes, backpacks, and uniforms. She has purchased most of her items. I will probably wait until the last day of August to purchase mine.

It is also during this time of year when we discuss our goals and expectations for the kids for the coming year. We talk about schedules and activities and routines that we will agree to adhere to in our respective homes during the school year. This, fortunately, is when my ex and I work well together. We agree that the kids need to have a consistent bed time and that both households should have certain rules in common. To be sure, there is much that we disagree on....for an example...my ex wife cannot understand why a roast chicken requires a quarter pound of butter before its put into the oven....disagreements such as these makes it obvious as to why we are no longer together.

Fortunately, as my kids attend a parochial school, so aside from the usual school supplies (pens, pencils, paper, markers etc...) back to school shopping is very easy and entails a trip to Old Navy and purchasing several light blue oxfords and several pairs of trousers...thank God I never have to hear in the morning "I am not wearing THAT!"

I have to admit however, that I am feeling no small amount of regret at the prospect of summer vacation ending. I enjoy the loose schedules, that lazy evenings, and the late nights with my kids that characterize our summers. Besides, making lunches, ironing uniforms, and checking homework is not my idea of a good time.

So this, the last week of summer vacation, I have imposed a bit of a schedule on myself and the kids. Bedtime is now 9:30 instead of whenever and and I am poised to get up my kids at 7:30 instead of 11:00....and we have to be at the beach by noon....or 1:30....or sometime....I am going to miss summer vacation.

Be Yourself

I am off the parenting hook this week as my ex wife has taken the kids on a short camping vacation in northern Massachusetts. Free from the day to day routine, I have been able to win for myself a little time to think and mentally prepare for the upcoming school year. As my oldest enters into his teens and my twins hit the bit one 0 I have realized that now, more than ever, I need to reinforce one two word sentence over and over again. "Be yourself. "

Two things happened on Monday that brought home to me the need to have "Be Yourself" the theme for the year.

Suffering from another bout of insomnia I found myself watching The Birdcage, starring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane. In it, Williams and Lane play a gay couple who, at the behest of their son, attempt to pretend they are straight in order to impress a conservative politician to whose daughter their son is engaged. While the movie was very over the top, it did bludgeon home the point that if you try to be something you are not that you are only fooling yourself (and Gene Hackman).

The other thing happened at the beach where I saw two Muslim women, each wearing a full chador, enjoying the sun and surf. My first thought was "gosh...that must be terribly uncomfortable." The second was "this is what they wear so why shouldn't they have their time in the sun like the rest of us." Amidst a sea literally full of bared flesh, these two woman adhered to their culture's imperative that they retain their modesty and cover themselves in public...even at the beach....they have not caved in to our cultural expectations, instead they were being true to themselves (I hope).

As parents we ought to be in the business of raising individuals so one of the basic lessons we should be teaching our kids is to be themselves. To do so is to struggle against innumerable cultural imperatives that pressure our kids and ourselves, to conform, to cover up, and to act like everyone else. Failure to resist these cultural pressures results in us and our children being less than who we are. Success means that we have raised strong individuals, albeit at the possible loss of popularity. However, I try to teach my kids that anyone who does not want you to be yourself is someone not worthy of being your friend. Anyone who cares about you would want and demand that you be yourself.

While we all have to make compromises in order to get along and function in society...as life is a series of compromises...the trick is to avoid becoming compromised. After all, we all deserve to be ourselves and have our time in the sun.

Jump Starting My Brain

Its 11:00 in the morning and I have been up since 5:30. Today's major accomplishment has been taking Joey out before he did numbers 1 and 2 on the hardwood floor. Writing on my blog is the obvious next step.

As I wait for my second pot of coffee to kick in I decided to spend a few minutes emptying out a few of my brain's junk drawers.

• Why is it that Facebook continually suggests that I add as a friend one woman I emailed five times I met once ages ago? Is Facebook trying to tell me something about this girl?

• Conversely, why is not Facebook recommending someone I have emailed hundreds of times and seen dozens of times?
  

• How come every half gallon of milk I buy goes bad for the expiration date. I keep my refrigerator at almost Arctic temperatures. I am also not the only person who has this problem.

• That you can now buy eggs that come from chickens fed on a vegetarian diet makes you wonder what the other chickens are being fed.

• I am very concerned that there are only 36 days left of summer.
  

• Can you go through serotonin and dopamine withdrawal? I think you can...
  

• I have more than 300 channels on my cable TV and I still end up watching Andy Griffith Show re-runs every night.

• My fourteen and a half year relationship with my dog represents the longest unbroken adult relationship I have ever had.

• My morning coffee is more important to me than my evening cocktail. Thank God.

There is more emptying to do....but the coffee has kicked in so its time to ride that caffeine induced wave of ambition for as long as I can.

Corn On The Cob

A Special Note: Pending Federal Trade Commission guidelines will require bloggers to indicate whether they receive compensation for mentioning products in their postings....so...not wanting to run afoul of Big Brother I want preemptively get into the habit of disclaiming any compensation for any product, event, or service I mention in my jottings....

For the first time this summer I indulged in one of the seasons true pleasures, corn on the cob. No, make that farm fresh corn on the cob.

I also indulged in another summertime pleasure...I cooked out on my hibachi. Yes, admit that I would have little trouble becoming addicted to the smell of charcoal and lighter fluid but there are certain seasonal indulgences that cannot be missed.

For some reason this summer has felt lacking. I have been to the beach (albeit not nearly often enough). I have been on vacation...ok camping...but its the same idea. I have played many innings of whiffle ball with my kids. I enjoyed an outdoor drink at the Bayside Restaurant in Westport and I have taken my kids to the Washington County Fair. Perhaps because June was a washout it has felt like that the summer has really never got underway.

And now...finally...now with only one month left....it feels as though summer time has arrived....and all it took was one piece of corn on the cob...and some lighter fluid fumes...

The Washington County Fair

I visited my parents yesterday. They happen to live in the same house where I grew up and on my way to their home we passed the fairgrounds for the Washington County fair. My hopes that my kids would not notice the fair were dashed when Aidan shouted "Ferris wheel" as I drove by.

So...after visiting with my folks Aidan, Fiona, and I went to the fair. Run by the local grange, the fair has been an August staple in southern Rhode Island since before I was born. Aside from the carnival section (where my kids wanted to spend all of our time), the fair is primarily an agricultural event. Farmers from Washington County (better known as South County) and from across the region bring their livestock to the fair to compete in a variety of competitions. Yes...the smells from the lower end of the fairgrounds can be a bit strong.

Horseback riding competitions, oxen and tractor pulls, and a number of other activities are conducted in the main ring. My favorite one is the dung throwing contest where contestants throw dried manure for distance and accuracy. I am not making this up.

Along with the local granges and 4-H organizations, local fire departments and ambulance companies, many of whom are volunteer organizations, act as food and beverage vendors at the fair. By doing so they are able to do an impressive amount of fund raising. The food is pretty good and ranges from hot dogs and hamburgers to clam cakes and fried chicken.

Local gardeners also show off their produce. I won a blue ribbon one year for my string beans....my kids were completely unimpressed by this as were they uninterested in the livestock...they were all about the carnival...thank God they were unable to talk me into going on the Tilt A Hurl...I mean Tilt A Whirl. I would have surely hurled as I dinned on the Carolina Fire Department's johnny cakes (johnny cakes are pancakes made from cornmeal) and french fries from the Hope Valley Fire Department.

While I am not a big fan of carnivals...I love fairs...despite my initial hesitation about going. My kids had a great time, they were able to experience a wholesome bit of Americana, I was able to relive some very nice childhood memories...and I was able to avoid the Tilt A Hurl.

I never do this....but the fair is really a great thing and represents a piece of rural American culture that is fast disappearing http://www.washingtoncountyfair-ri.com/ Go to your local fair.